hard hearted, don't worry i'm ready for a fight

unnerved, the nerve, you're nervous...

...nervous that i'm right.

"the one"

i got to see this boy i know
i couldn't wait for us to be alone
flippin' through the radio
we sing along to the indie show
the songs they play mean more than i can say

and the tape i made you,
hope you think of me when it plays through
i'm kinda sad now that it's done
you think my time's for free
in all the ways that you say to me
sweet versions of "let's wait and see"

you're always a golden boy
and i'm the girl that you enjoy
my parents say, "isn't he a gifted son?"
time is always passing by
but still i have to wonder why
you can't come to tell me i'm the one

summer goes and we have grown
we have our friends, live on our own
still i'm not the girl you want me to be
say gravity can bend the time,
funny, i always liked your mind
but this whole thing is crushing me

but you're always a golden boy
and this girl's heart that you destroy
you smile at me and then you have your fun
time is always passing by
but still i give you another try
and hope that you will see i'm the one

you say you're scared to get too close,
come let's see how this goes
see what i've known for so long
sad that you could be so lovely and so wrong

the last four months of my life i've thought about you
....pretty much every fifteen seconds

grey skies seem right

grey skies seem right, an encore to last night
your song played on and on and on
...while i fought with the bed
sheet wrapped me tight, said it'll be alright
just sleep and the night will pass on by
close your eyes...

'cause every touch is satisfied
every kiss is right on time
every time i say "i miss you tonight"
...grey skies seem right

laying still on your side, the ache i feel contrasts the smile
the sense you left with me is filling up my mind
so i close my eyes

every touch is satisfied
every kiss is right on time
every time i say "i miss you tonight"

...grey skies seem right

june 6, 2011.

it’s the first day since november 25, 2010 that we haven’t spoken. for 194 straight days, we were an active part of each others’ lives (no exceptions). that’s a long, long time.

i can’t say that i regret it, but i can’t say it wasn’t a waste of time. we fell in love and we fell right back out. all i need now is space and time, and you’re going to give it to me. because i’m not giving you a choice.

the end is coming, darling. i’m bringing the news.

spontaneous weekend, part two.

It was 2:00 Friday afternoon and I was driving through the suburbs of Louisville, trying to find your car. I’d be driving the remaining two hours back to my house. I helped you put your bags in my trunk, and you grabbed my elbow. I wrapped my arms around you, and you wouldn’t let go. No one’s ever held me so tight. When you finally released me, you smiled and said “There’s a Smoothie King up the road. My treat.” It’s amazing how quickly we can fall into every habit that we used to have.

After lots of driving, casual conversation and dinner, I prepared you for the night. I introduced you to my three best friends as well as my family. You impressed them just like I knew you would. You made my friends laugh. You swept my mother off of her feet. We drank cosmos and played catchphrase with my friends. All five us watched tv, and I had never been so happy. You even fearlessly grabbed my hand, right there for everyone to see. And that was something you had never done before. You were such a gentleman on Friday. You even gave me three soft “goodnight” kisses before I fell asleep.

spontaneous weekend, part one.

Wednesday night, my phone rang. The screen lit up, and I held my breath when I saw your name glowing back at me. I stammered a “Hello?” before the comfort of your voice swept over me. You sounded more than happy to talk to me, and I was transported back to the months we’d had before.

“Do you still want to do this…weekend thing?” I could hardly let you finish before I exclaimed, “YES!” We both paused. “I mean, only if you want to.” That was my attempt to sound less desperate. “Well then. I’l try and leave my house by 9:00 Friday morning. I’ll text you with my ETA.” It was like we could hear each other smiling. “See you then.” I hung up the phone.