big white gate

my body's aching from laying in this bed
went singing in the rain and the cold got to my head
i don't know who's paying...
...i just know what the doctor said

84 years of a sinning life
and in the morning i'll be dead

i have three daughters, a new man for every one
and the only man that i ever loved
he left me with my only son
i was a no-good mother, i was a no-good wife
there's only one thing that i did right in this god-forsaken life

so St. Peter, won't you open up the Big White Gate?
'cause i heard about forgiveness and i hope it ain't too late
no i ain't no holy roller, but you go tell your King
that all the folks up in Heaven might like to hear me sing

i sang to my children before they strayed so far
i sang for my lover for a nickel in a tip jar
i never knew Jesus, i never read the Good Book
but on my day of dying, i'm giving life a second look

St. Peter, won't you open up the Big White Gate?
'cause i heard about forgiveness and i hope it ain't too late
i ain't no holy roller, but you go tell your King
that all the folks up in Heaven might like to hear me sing

it's coming on time now
and my body's getting cold
i got no will, i got no prayer
my story's all been told
i'm ready for a land of fire
but i'd love to see the land of gold
so nurse, bring me my guitar
one more song before i go

St. Peter, won't you open up the Big White Gate?
'cause i heard about forgiveness and i'm hoping that it ain't too late
no i ain't no holy roller, but you go tell your King
that all the folks up in Heaven might like to hear me sing

all the folks up in Heaven might like to hear me sing

this week

here are the pretty solid plans for the week...

MONDAY: online economics homework, The Bachelor is on (i now kind of watch tv)!

TUESDAY: go to Olive Garden and the dollar theater to see Red (starring Bruce Willis and Mary Louise Parker)

WEDNESDAY: The Civil Wars in-store @ Grimey's

THURSDAY: Grace Potter in-store @ Grimey's, Grace Potter @ The Cannery

FRIDAY: Spring Awakening (!!!) and Erinn comes to town!

SATURDAY: Jenny & Tyler play for free downtown

SUNDAY: Madi Diaz @ 3rd & Lindlsey

favorite scene

we'll all be portions for foxes

i know i'm alone if i'm with or without you

but just being around you offers me another form of relief

when the loneliness leads to bad dreams

and the bad dreams lead me to callin' you

and i call you and say, "come here!"


and it's bad news, baby i'm bad news
i'm just bad news, bad news, bad news.


there's a pretty young thing in front of you

and she's real pretty and she's real into you

and then she's sleeping inside you


and the talking leads to touching

and the touching leads to sex

and then there is no mystery left



and it's bad news, i don't blame you

i do the same thing, i get lonely too

and you're bad news, my friends tell me to leave you

YOU'RE BAD NEWS, I DON'T CARE, I LIKE YOU.

you can drive down the 405 to the 101 to my house

these highways are in so many songs

i couldn't count them all...i tried

so much sad history described in a ride

and when i told you i was happy i lied

i lied, i lied, i lied


and i've got vicodin,

do you want to come over?

i know it's a long drive from malibu

i've got a pocketful of pills

...and not one lover

i'm feeling so bad and so good

i don't know what to do.

i just really love this movie

here's part of the original script for the "Bee Charmer" scene from Fried Green Tomatoes. I still love that scene, but I wish this had been what they said...

a little lifechanging

Thursday night I had the opportunity to see the fabulous Lissie perform at the Mercy Lounge here in Nashville. I was so blown away by this girl's talent. I had already listened to and loved her releases Why You Runnin and Catching a Tiger, but getting to see these songs live was something truly amazing. So many of her words hit home with me, and I'm going to share some. Sometimes live music is a little lifechanging.

I'm tired of saying that I won't get lost ever again
Who knows...maybe I will
And everywhere I go, there I'll be
With a rusted old rake in a pile of leaves
Oh my, truly daunting

I feel as if everytime I've made a mistake in life, I tell myself "this is the last time. Get on the right path now." But the truth is, I'm never going to be on the right path. Life is trial and error. There's always a mountain to tackle, and all you have is your bare hands (or a rusty rake).


Fast asleep, where I keep my memories
He's calling me out in dreams, he visits me
What will be; Will I see him again soon?
Why am I so terrified of waking?
He's gone and I feel I've been forsaken
In sleep is the only place I get to see him,
Get to love him, be with him...

I know this couldn't possibly have been Lissie's intention in writing this song, but I can't listen to it without thinking about my dad. It seems as if the only place I can be close my dad is in my dreams. And this chorus is exactly what it's like.



Run, ragged and wrecked
Catchin a tiger, baitin a bully
Was this my idea? Is it a mistake?
Why did you take me here?
Am I too far from home? Am I really all alone?

Walk, child don't run
Go off and have fun, we'll be waiting
Just look before you cross
Take love with the loss
I know it's frustrating

The world is yours, carry your torch
All of us who turned into you
We're sure hoping that you pull on through

Being 500 miles away from home in a new city is exciting and scary at the same time. This song ("Bully") is a combination of my thought process and what I'd like to believe is my mother's.



I said I wanna try it all without regrets
I wanna meet the kind of folks I've never met
People said we'd have to make it on our own
We never thought there'd be a hand to hold
...They're telling our story on the radio

I fell in love with being defiant
In a pickup truck that roared like a lion
And when you're with us you don't have to be quiet no more...

In my final months of highschool, I found the people I could be myself around, and this is how I feel about them. I'm hoping I can find those people here at Belmont too.


I'll fall on my knees...tell me how's the way to be.
Tell me how's the way to go...tell me all that I should know

Danger will follow me everywhere I go
Angels will call on me and take me to my home
This tired mind just wants to be led home

We all want answers and we all want the most out of life. That's safe to say, right?



Thank you Elisabeth Maurus for writing the words that you do.